I am sick and tired of Lebanese poems echoing the words Chicago, New York, New Jersey, Palestine, and Beirut, existential poems, poems about bombs and open fire, about zaatar and zeitoun and all sorts of foods and Lebanese delicacies decreeing who you are and what you are made of, poems about the day you were born being the day you have died, poems about the Lebanese civil war which you have not even lived! I am sick and tired of poems screaming against confessionalism while all it does is reinforce it. I am sick and tired of Beirut. I am sick of your fake charm and your elegant ragged garment. I am sick and tired of shy attempts to break out, to smash taboos in the face, of tomorrow that will never come if you still think Beirut is west and east, if you still steal western terms and practices just to look and sound cool. You who love this city so much you don’t mind tearing it to pieces just to claim a spot. I am sick and tired of you. I am sick of shi3i, dirzi, sunni, and masi7i. I am sick of ishtriaki, owwatji, awmi, hizb allah, 7araket amal, 3awni, haririan, and all others I forgot and wish to forget. You are all stupid.

I am sick and tired of those who preach peace, those who look unified in concerts and raves, who welcome P Diddy & co with arms wide open, and the next university elections would be an enough reason for them to throw stones at each other and bash each others’ brains out. Fun!

I am sick and tired of dogmas and superstitions, of stereotypes, of rudeness and dictatorships, of beliefs no one believes in, of prejudices and fanaticism. I am sick and tired of social decorum and the lack of social decorum. I am tired of skirmishes and superficial conversations, of high heels click-clacking on the pavements in malls, at work, and in concerts and mock marathons. I am sick and tired of bullshit, for it seems it’s the foundations on which this country has always been built upon. You do not have a hidden Atlantis, Jeita Grotto does not deserve to be one of the 7 wonders because it belongs to people like you. You do not love one another, you do not deserve and will not achieve reconciliation and 3aysh moshtarak. You are stupid. You who think we are country and a people worthy of being on this earth, are stupid and all yours laws and shari3as, all your regulations and rules, all your beliefs and religions will never be enough to protect you from your stupidity.

The solution? Collective amnesia. Not the false civil war collective amnesia that you have all been suffering from, not the one criticized in war studies and talked about in academic papers. Not the one which has denied you a war museum and a decent history book. No! One which will teach you how to be human again.

How many wake-up calls do you need? If Noah were alive, not one Lebanese deserves to be on his boat. Shame on a country which has lead itself to this level of indifference. Yes, it is worse than hatred that indifference of yours. Shame!

While you choke on your own bullshit, I declare that I am proud to be a tourist in a country that is not my own any longer. Not the upper class Saudi tourist with nails of gold, mind you. But the working class, poor, ragged tourist who lives on mankoushis and co.

 

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